Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A post by another curly-haired person.

My neighbour, Irit, wrote a cute guest post.
My post frequency should increase as soon as I sort out some of my time-management issues.
For now, enjoy the never-tired topic of surviving the zombie apocalypse!
Hello, readers of blogs. My name is Irit, I am Gabi's neighbor, and I am writing for you today.

A little about me:
I am a female. I have curly hair. I have a fat cat and some other family members. I have too many voices in my head than the number recommended by the large majority of psychiatrists.

But enough about me and on to the topic of today's post: Zombie Apocalypse 101

1. First things first, movies and the internet have suggested that the safest place to go when the zombie apocalypse comes is underground. This is not true. For one, zombies can dig. And second, you, hidden in the insulation of the earth, won't be able to hear enemies coming. Therefore, the safest place to go is above ground; the higher the better. Mountains are a good option, as you have gravity in your favour. Outer space is another good option.

2. Another misrepresentation from movies is that a gun is a great zombie apocalypse weapon. In these movies, of course, people who have never picked up a gun before are perfect shots, and bullets never hit the good guys. Unless you can actually shoot a gun, use a baseball bat, which has infinite ammo and never need to be recharged.

3. People often say not to make out in the woods during a zombie apocalypse, but I'm here to tell you that under special circumstances (i.e. your partner is a ninja) you can.

4. Don't be the comic relief, you guys never end well.

5. And lastly, if you readers are in great need of food, go to my Aunt Debbie's house: her freezer is filled with lasagnas.

Thank you, random humans, for letting me waste 3 minutes of your life.


1 comment:

  1. It wasn't a waste of my 3 minutes, it was really funny. And I like your name :)


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